they would support the marriage after witnessing the consummation

We are so used to the hyper-individualism of our modern lifeways. We think we desire it and we think it’s progressive.

It’s sad.

The alternative (the way people used to live) was to feel embedded within a nexus of extended family and broader community.

For example: A marriage and a household were not atomized as they are today. There was more support and less divorce.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bedding_ceremony

The purpose of the ritual was to establish the consummation of the marriage, either by actually witnessing the couple’s first sexual intercourse or symbolically, by leaving before consummation. It symbolized the community’s involvement in the marriage.

. . . communitarian sanction, support, involvement. Our first thought would be “yuck” . . . but it was better.

We think modernity is better, but we have lost more than we’ve gained.