again, re: some psychological complexities related to gender relations
Asking only workman’s wages, I come looking for a job
But I get no offers
Just a come-on from the whores on Seventh Avenue
I do declare …
There were times when I was so lonesome I took some comfort there.
That’s a man lamenting, of course. Inconceivable to reverse the roles. Apropos of how it’s one of those “public secrets” that, in general, men need women more than women need men.
Do men realize the extent to which that preoccupies them? Do women realize the psychological imbalance? what the consequences have been, historically? the implications of the recent turn?
Historically, men endeavored to keep women in the domestic sphere while they endeavored to be heroic in the social sphere. The motivation was anxiety about being needed and about meriting love.
The social sphere has been the locus of Achievement. Men have been driven to work hard at it. The combination of greater physical strength and the strength of their psychological preoccupation results in men being (or trying to be) more controlling; trying to impel a patriarchal value system, one that valorizes social achievement.
It was understandable that when women were freed from biological preoccupation (near-constant pregnancy/infant care) they would want recognition in the social sphere as per the social value system. As this new dynamic has played out it has created a quandary for men. That kind of recognition had been, for them, a special thing in a special realm … and precious.
Sure enough, women now need men less and less.
The existential anxiety of men about their place, their role, their value has become an issue.
Sure enough, men are increasingly bereft:
https://www.npr.org/2022/11/04/1133586707/boys-men-labor-force-jobs-gender-gap-workforce
https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/2022/02/08/andrew-yang-boys-are-not-all-right/
